SPOILER ALERT! This post contains details from Monday’s episode of The Bachelorette: Men Tell All.
The time has finally come for Charity to reunite with her exes. That’s right, The Bachelorette: Men Tell All is already upon us.
Below, Charity spoke with Deadline about some of the night’s biggest, most dramatic moments. But first, let’s talk about what those were.
In attendance for the taping were 13 of Charity’s former contestants: Spencer, Adrian, Peter, John, James, Caleb B., John Henry, Michael, Aaron S., Brayden, Xavier, Tanner, and Sean.
Naturally, host Jesse Palmer kicked things off by rehashing all the Brayden drama yet again. To summarize, the men still think Brayden was acting out of line with the things he said about Charity behind her back, and they’re definitely still upset that he came back to ruin that last cocktail party for all of them. Adrian stands by his concerns about Brayden, and he thinks Brayden might not have understood the show he signed up for. Brayden maintains that the men never brought up their issues to his face, instead opting to talk about him with each other and with Charity. Though, he doesn’t say what difference it would have made to hear firsthand that they didn’t like him.
Anyways, it turns out that cementing himself as the Season 20 villain worked out in his favor (or maybe it was the clip-on earrings he brought Jesse as a gift), because Brayden is headed to the shores of Mexico for Bachelor in Paradise. A teaser for the upcoming season shows him getting cozy with Kat Izzo from Zach Shallcross’ Season 27 of The Bachelor.
The most interesting tidbits from the taping came after Charity took the hot seat. She addresses Brayden first, but it feels like there’s not much to say at this point. She reiterates that she didn’t appreciate Brayden’s comments to the other men, which he did not say to her. She tells him she thinks she gave him more grace than he deserves, and she looks like she’s just ready to move on from this drama (and so are we).
Of course, Charity also confronts Xavier — who told her before fantasy suites in Fiji that he’d been unfaithful in a past relationship. Charity sent him home before they spent the night together, and Xavier tells Jesse while in the hot seat that he truly was in love with Charity. He had been trying to have an honest moment with her, but it came out all wrong.
Well, Charity thinks he should have told her about his infidelity weeks before he mustered up the courage to do so. She doesn’t think he ever saw himself actually getting down on one knee. She also didn’t appreciate Xavier throwing out the “I love you” as a Hail Mary when she was ushering him into the van to send him home. They both clearly had things to say going into this conversation, and it did seem to bring both of them at least a little bit of closure.
Before the night was over, Charity received some advice from two former Bachelorettes, Trista Sutter, Desiree Hartsock Siegfried and DeAnna Pappas. We’ll let Charity clue you in on what pieces of wisdom resonated with her.
Read below for Deadline’s conversation with Charity following the Men Tell All.
DEADLINE: How do you feel about your conversation with Xavier at the MTA? Did that help you close that chapter?
CHARITY LAWSON: I definitely felt like having the conversation with Xavier at Men Tell All allowed me to talk about some things that I don’t think I really covered in its entirety in that moment, just because it was just such an intensified emotional moment for me. I came into the conversation giving him grace, but also not failing to remind him he needs to be accountable for what he said to me in that moment and explain himself and make sense of it. There was a few big takeaways that I had from that initial conversation that we see, and I got to talk about that in depth and kind of make sense of like, “Okay, why did you say like this? Or, why did you tell me, ‘I love you’ as we were leaving? You didn’t say it all day.” But if anything, I think the conversation was more helpful for him. So I’m glad that he got the closure that he needed, because I think once I was done, I was done. There’s nothing else to talk about. Obviously a little heavier seeing him at Men Tell All, but overall it was good.
DEADLINE: You had said so many times throughout this process how triggering infidelity is for you. How did you feel in that moment when he told you he’d previously been unfaithful?
LAWSON: Hearing that, for me, and knowing that that conversation came up at that point in the journey, it was really hard, because I felt like it was really selfish for Xavier to disclose that that late in the journey. Maybe that was a conversation that we had at our one-on-one date or just even like at an after party. I’ve asked him several times about his relationship just…trying to get to know him a little bit more. But that never once came up. Never at any point did he think to be like, “Oh, this is something I want to start talking about and we can continue the conversation later.” It all just heavily came in Fiji. So yeah, I was pissed. It made no sense to me. I think you hear me time and time again say I was not even sad that it happened because I knew I was not going to tolerate that at any point. But I think just obviously knowing that somebody else could have been in the position that you are now in and you decided to wait this way. It was very selfish, in my opinion.
DEADLINE: What was the moment where you decided you weren’t going to entertain a conversation anymore and you were ready to send him home?
LAWSON: I was way too generous. Even in that conversation. I was pissed, but I was still being so graceful with him. But it got to the point where I just continued to ask him questions. That’s who I am as a person. I’m just a problem solver, and I like to make sense of situations… But in that moment, I was like, no. First of all, we don’t have time to do this. Secondly, every time I keep asking you a question, it just continues to get worse and worse. So I was like, “You’re just digging a bigger hole for yourself. Everything you’re saying to me is actually now, like, I’m starting to not even not like what this connection is [and] as a person I’m questioning what you stand for.” That’s when I was like, “Enough is enough.” This is not going to be someone I just continue to give another chance. We see myself do it time and time again this season. At that point, we’re too late in the process, and I don’t have a chance to take on anyone who’s not there for me.
DEADLINE: Throughout the season you’ve definitely been vulnerable and given the men the benefit of the doubt, but you also do know when to put your foot down. How did you develop the confidence to just blatantly tell them how it’s going to be?
LAWSON: Anyone knows me in my real life [knows] I’m very sassy at times… I think initially it’s so overwhelming and a little intimidating, because I’m the only girl and I’m standing in front of all these guys. But, as you develop relationships with these men and you progress in the process, it gets a little easier. It definitely does. For me, confidence is not something that I struggle with. So I knew, obviously I’m in this role and I have to take leadership at times but also continue to reiterate like why I’m here. What’s my purpose? And making sure that these men are on the same page. If not, it’s like get in line or go home. Simple.
DEADLINE: At the end of last week’s episode, Aaron B. came to Fiji to try to win you back. We don’t know what happens yet, but prior to that there’s only Dotun and Joey left. What qualities did you see in them that made you want to continue this process with them?
LAWSON: A common thing that they both share is just their intentionality. Never once in this entire journey did I have to question why they were there or what they were looking for. [They were] just being confident, secure men. Also just being able to have these conversations — like we saw in New Orleans, I had a conversation with Joey that was extremely important. Ever since me and Dotun met, all of our conversations are just so stimulating. We just always are wanting to explorethe depths of each other. So just having that emotional maturity that I see in Dotun and Joey.
DEADLINE: How surprised were you actually to see Aaron show up in Fiji?
LAWSON: I was like, ‘What’s going on?’ I was completely caught off guard. I did not expect that at all. In that moment, I was like, I don’t know what to do. Do I talk to him? Why is he here? I didn’t know if something had happened. He was just pretty adamant about not getting the closure he needed. He flew all the way over there to get that but also just I guess another opportunity to see if we could continue to progress our relationship in a short amount of time.
DEADLINE: You also had another chance to speak with Brayden during the MTA. Was there anything really left to say there?
LAWSON: My only thing with speaking to Brayden was just making sure that he was aware of his distinct differences of how he carried himself and how he acted with me and the men. At no point did I question if Brayden was being honest with me. I knew he was. But when you look back and when we watch this season back, how Brayden interacted with me versus men, it was very clear. It was two different things. His tone was completely different with me, [and] the wordings that he used. I explained this to him that I felt like at times, it was extremely manipulative. He has this very charming personality, and he leads with that, but also his emotional maturity is not fully there. So that’s why you see him lash out when things don’t go his way. When he’s not the one picked on the date, it’s a problem. It’s Brayden’s world, and we’re just living in it. But so sorry, welcome to my season of The Bachelorette. I think he figured that out. We’ve seen enough about Brayden. We talked enough about him.
DEADLINE: Every season there is plenty that we don’t get to see. Is there anything that you watched this season that you were like, ‘Man, I wish they got the full context here?’
LAWSON: It all boils down to how much of the conversations we see with other contestants. So like Tanner and Sean, and then even Caleb and John…A lot of people were like, ‘Oh, like they were great contestants, but we didn’t see a whole lot of them. I will say all of my conversations with each and every one of them were very good…So I do wish that some of those conversations were aired, but it’s okay. They’re all great guys.
DEADLINE: You also received some advice from former Bachelorettes. What piece of advice resonated the most with you?
LAWSON: I have no choice but to stan and listen to the OG, Trista. She has been married to her final one for 20 years. So like, yes, ma’am. But I wanted to know, for her, what was something that she prioritized or made her relationship last over the years? What advice would you give to me? She essentially just said to keep each other first and prioritize one another. It can be difficult when we’re obviously in the public light and there’s a lot of things going on, a lot of moving parts. But just putting both of us at the forefront of our lives, I think, will just lead to success. That is something that I’m going to take with me. I’m excited and hopeful and I think I have a good head on my shoulders. So that was something that I already knew to do, but hearing it from Trista, I was like, ‘Alright, absolutely have to do.’
That’s a wrap for now…It’s almost time for a (possible) engagement! Next week, Charity will make a decision on whether to give Aaron B. another chance or send him back home and move toward a proposal with Dotun and Joey. The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT.